Thelma Will, Harare socialite, author, and wife of El Shaddai Worship City Church leader Prophet Peter Flames, shared her thoughts on why men do not marry women who live with them before marriage.
She took to her Facebook page to share a long but catchy and lesson filled story relating it to the modern-day lifestyle many women have adopted (living with a man before marriage).
“My little sister was selling designer perfumes, and I took one for myself and promised to pay her since I had not carried my wallet with me. When I saw the perfume, I was so excited because it’s one of my favourites and so I begged her to give me the promise to pay her.
Days passed, and I was and is still using the perfume, yet I haven’t paid for it. After using it, it was now painful to take the money and give it to my little sister when I already owned the perfume. What’s the worst that she can do? I thought to myself. Take it? It’s already in half, and it doesn’t have the box and seal that it comes with, so she obviously can’t resale it.
She called and texted me asking for the money, and I started giving excuses. My first excuse was that the perfume didn’t last for long, and when that didn’t work, I started reminding her of the money she would ask of me. I never returned, and I also reminded her of the constant favours I do for her, the clothes and shoes that I occasionally buy for her without asking for payment.
All I was trying to do was get her to say keep the perfume and the money because honestly, it’s painful to pay for something you are already in possession of and enjoy its benefits.
Dear young lady, this is precisely how a man feels when you move in with him before he formally marries you.
Don’t fool yourself that if I move in with him and serve him, he will see what a wife material I am and eventually pay for my bride price. You are already giving him the benefits of a husband, so why should he pay when he is already enjoying the advantages.
Some of you are going through one problem after the other in marriage, and no matter how much you pray for your ‘marriage’, God can’t do anything about it because to Him, it’s not a marriage but adultery.
It’s surprising how a man is okay with paying for
everything, the house that you live in, the car that he drives, the clothes that he puts on, the food that he eats but doesn’t find it necessary to honour the woman in his life by paying her bride price. Don’t you deserve to be honoured?
What’s even funnier is when the woman doesn’t care to make a demand on her man to do the right thing to her parents and, most importantly, to God.
The Bible says what God has joined. Let no man put asunder, and God joins two people by following the biblical way of marriage. Do the right thing and have a godly covering over your marriage.
If you are not yet married or living with a man, don’t make that mistake. Even if that man later leaves you, it won’t be a divorce because there was no marriage in the first place. Be wise and do the right thing!”.
I applaud this great write up from Mrs Thelma. Living with a man or giving wife benefits to a man who is yet to marry you works for some, but many end up getting heartbroken.